Carrier Landings

Eva has wondered for months why she finds the runner
on her dining room table on the floor or piled in a
corner of the table when she gets home from work.

The reason is, while Eva's at work, we practice carrier landings on
the U.S.S. Table, CVA-99, a light carrier of the furniture class.

Before recovering aircraft, the Landing Signal Officer (LSO) checks the
arresting cables and the focused light that guides the pilot on the
correct flight path for a good landing. Today, Lt Phoebe is the LSO.

The LSO is dismayed to hear that number one for landing is Ensign Happy.
He is famous for his sloppy landings that endanger everyone on deck.

Happy, callsign Tomcat 603, calls the ball from 5 feet out and
altitude of 4 feet. As you can see, he's well above the
glide slope and not lined up on the centerline.

The LSO evacuates the fantail and goes over the side to safety.

Tomcat 603 comes in hot and asymmetrical. At touchdown he begins
a skid and his tailhook misses all 4 wires.

Tomcat 603 has skidded 180 degrees when he engages the barrier and
his momentum carries away the restraints.

Ensign Happy finally comes to a stop at the far end of the deck.
Actually, this has been one of his better landings. Fortunately,
no other aircraft were on deck at the time.

Captain Annabelle and Commander Penelope rarely participate in
carrier landings because their other duties keep them busy and
they know that kitties are not allowed on the table.

Ensign Happy taxis to his assigned parking area and tells his crewchief
for the 37th time "any landing you can walk away from is a good one".

Note: No cats were harmed in the filming of this production. However,
Bob will probably catch hell when Eva gets home from work.